Eye of the Time Traveler (pt. 1)

      Over sixty years down, I'm trying to get it right. Disassembling, examining the pieces, and trying to put them back together in an improved way.

     Procrastination and related depression remain strong players.
     I still spend far too much of my conscious time in one of two, equally useless states:
     1) I have all the time in the world, and I just need to rest and de-stress a little before I roll up my sleeves and get what needs doing done.
 and...
     2) Not anything close to the time on hand to do what must be done. I'm fucking doomed. Everything's as good as ashes.
     Both states are paralyzing, differing only in degree of stress.
     Neither state is something I can continue to afford.

     Still, I have managed improvements in the past decade.

     I tackled a situation of deep and deepening debt, got hold of the details, explored options (primarily a loan at a much better interest rate, used to pay off the aggregate debt - I used Lending Tree at the time, but a local credit union is generally a good choice) and altered my behaviors such that I dispatched the debt - filled in the pit I'd been stuck in - and began building upward beyond that. Milestones of emergency fund were marked, built to, surpassed, and a new goal established. So much of bad debt situations come from the lack of an emergency fund.
     A sudden medical bill. A major appliance fails. Car repairs. Car replacement when the one one's driving isn't worth the cost of repairs. No cash to draw on? It usually goes on a card, and becomes part of an interest-sucking parasite that grows month to month even as it's fed. Believe me, I spent too many years in that spot, losing a bit more ground month to month. Anyone

who shakes their head at this in disapproval -- well, sure, it's not something to be approved of. It's simply a reality, and finger wagging does no good. You're not helping. Any casting shade on it from a presumed position of moral and intellectual superiority can leave the room. They, their sense of righteous superiority, and the likely privilege that allowed it to exist, should just fuck off.
     Anyway, while simultaneously increasing my 401K deductions year to year, I built up separate, liquid savings in the best savings account I could find. The benefits of that account have degraded over time - savings account interest rates remain ridiculously low - but they're still vastly better than those offered by a brick and mortar bank.
     More recently, I started to explore some other financial options, gaining some small understanding of stock trading and the rudiments of how to make that work, over the long term, much as one traditionally would a long-term savings account. Take saved money, invest it prudently in a variety of companies that appear to have solid futures (I'm getting a better handle on that, and have been working from the same basis as The Motley Fool* is based on), and make the commitment to hold those stocks for at least five years. So long as one's held them for at least one year before selling, there are no penalties or extra charges, and for most of us it'll mean that it'll be a straight 15% tax to be paid on the income generated -- the difference between what one paid for the stocks and what they sell for. All of that information's recorded and locked in -- it's all part of the reason why one has to set up a brokerage account.
     A great deal yet to learn, but it's begun, and is already at a stage where even were I to do no other tinkering I can reasonably expect to have turned that money into significantly more five, ten, or however many years in the future when I'll look to convert them back into cash. If I do it - "it" being handling the rest of my finances - correctly any such conversion will be purely at my discretion.

     It's much as with a 401K retirement account. Set things up, then largely step back and let them work. Don't get caught up in the day-to-day, month-to-month fluctuations, because they'll waste one's time and nerve. That's for the future. In between there may be big, seeming, losses, but letting it all work out is key.
     I'm currently giving myself the discretion to go this route with any unassigned liquid savings that are in excess of a six month emergency fund (take all of one's monthly expenses, multiply them by six, and tally it all up), on the basis that I can give those the time necessary to grow. Remaining flexible is important.
     I understand how pie-in-the-sky all of this sounds. I know it first-hand. I can still recall when my debt seemed insurmountable, and what my reactions were when someone I know was casually mentioning moving $10K from one account to another. It almost felt like an attack, listening to that, though I know it wasn't. It's part of what makes this sort of thing difficult to work through: One doesn't know who to talk to. People doing as poorly as one is, or worse, aren't likely to be any help. Those

doing better than one is are likely to be guarded, apprehensive that one's going to mistake their somewhat better situation for some great wealth, and try to tap them for a loan. Even if it's not as overt as that, people are understandably guarded about the details of their financial like. Talk to someone working in the broad financial industry and chances are they're going to be looking to sell you something, most likely something that'll be more to their benefit than yours.
     Anyway, it's important for me to keep in mind the progress I've made, as I try to make similar moves in the rest of my life. Trying to tend to my physical and emotional health, and building a life worth living.
     All this ambling and it's still just a preamble.

    * I may still write a separate post on my Motley Fool experience, but I'll take a first stab here in this footnote.
     I am a basic member. I signed up with a special deal that gave me two years for the price of one, IIRC.
     The short form for now is that I believe they've been and continue to be a help to me. My sole complaint with them is that they have other tiers of membership -- or special clubs within the larger

club -- and I find it terribly undermining. The upselling begins almost immediately, and is close to relentless. One pays to get in the door, and almost immediately someone is grabbing you by the elbow to let you know that the REALLY good stuff is right behind that door (things like their Rules Breakers group), and, just for today, there's a special discount... Honestly, in that respect it reminds me of what I've read about Trump U. Upsell! Upsell! Upsell!  Worse, it's not as if these are one-time hits, as everything is set up for automatic, annual renewals. No thank you.
     I feel it undermines the foundations of the organization because there's information held by an elite within the group, meaning that potentially important information is pointedly withheld from the larger membership.
     I still believe in the foundation of the group, though. Examining companies at every level, from their business model, position in the marketplace, aims, CEO and said CEO's stake in the company and compensation package vs what the average there employee makes, and using that information to decide how well that company's likely to do five, ten and more years from now -- and investing appropriately. To use such buys to assemble a diverse stock portfolio in 25 companies, and hold onto those stocks for at least five years. Leave the meme stocks and short-selling angles to others.