The Tease of Things I Don't Need

Eh?

I’ve gotten a large pot of chili together – more as an anytime meal for Monday than anything for tonight, especially since it’ll improve with some long simmering – and somewhere along the line my mind turned to local accents. It’s not a new topic for me, as I’m a Crypt Leak and I find it comes up in conversation in the aftermath of most run-ins with stronger versions of it. I've probably touched on it at least once in the past year or so of blogging, but I don't recall it specifically, hence this post. It was probably a local call-in show I heard on the radio while I was riding around today that triggered this.

Here in the area surrounding Philadelphia there’s a distinct, appalling accent. It’s amusing when jokingly overlaid on a foreign language, but in day to day life it’s an earsore.

There are times when, if I’m not careful, I’ll slip back into it for a beat. A hideous sound, there are times when Stallone’s Rocky-isms - part of the Philly italian sound - would be a preferable alternative.

There are some key words that reveal the accent.

“Water” is locally pronounced “wooder.” That’s the one I’ll catch myself sliding back into from time to time, though it immediately sets off a painful alarm in my head.

“Eagles”, as in the local football team with that tendency to choke late in the season, are generally referred to the “Iggles.” (This is probably something I mentioned back around the Superbowl.)

They frequently pronounce “Philadelphia” as something resembling “Phlelfia.”

You know that baseball-sized fruit that's name is the same as its color? Around these parts many refer to it as an "oornj."

Those are a few of the easy, distinct ones.

A trickier to convey in text, but widely prevalent sound is the horrible thing the locals do to the letter “O.” A simple word such as own is given a rounded, unpleasantly sustained vowel sound. It’s something like “oahwhn”, with the “oa” being as one hears in loan, but stretched and emphasized. One hears this when they say go, oh, over, and anyplace there’s a long “O” sound.

People make fun of a Southern drawl, but at least there’s something approaching euphony involved there. I’m more bothered by the Southern penchant for leaning on the first syllable in some words, saying things like “INsurance.” When one says "INsurance" a NASCAR cap should magically appear on his head.

So, how about you? Is there a local accent you’re aware of, either because you came from a different part of the country or broadened your horizons somewhere along the line?