(TV/streaming video) New & Leftover Items, a Touch of 2024, and some Nostalgic Forensics

Sandwich Speak

(Another trivial post, this is something that was sitting in draft mode for a while now, and it occurred to me I'm not going to to anything more with it, so why not post it?)

Asking the question "What do you call the long sandwich that contains cold cuts, lettuce, and so on?" UWM's dialect poll received over 10,000 responses and allowed them to create maps of what this sandwich is called in different parts of the continental U.S.

Sub, hoagie, grinder, hero, poor boy, bomber, etc., as with any poll question there are imperfections, ranging from likely having some correspondents answering as if they were still living where they grew up, to differences in the sandwiches in question.

On the latter point, here in southeastern Pennsylvania, the thick of hoagie country...

...we also have grinders, and understand that a grinder is a hoagie that's placed back the oven so as to toast the roll, melt the cheese and deliver a warm sandwich. A hoagie, perhaps like revenge, is a dish to be served cold. The difference in temperature is also a difference in consistency and taste, sufficient for any rational person with functioning taste buds to rate them as different sandwiches even in instances where identical ingredients might be used. Consider a cold sandwich of cheese on bread versus a grilled cheese sandwich, and most of the point will be made.

The ingredients hits on a critical issue that falls through the cracks of such polls: Ingredients.

The poll, however, simply asks "What do you call the long sandwich that contains cold cuts, lettuce, and so on?"

I don't fault them for this, as it's a sound approach and attempts to pin down the common denominators. The long roll is essential to the form and as a container for the ingredients, and cold cuts is a generic term encompassing virtially all deli meats... and even then his may be going too far, as some have come up with vegetarian hoagies or grinders, and so would be sans meat of any type. Generally, though, meat is involved, and a vegetarian hoagie can be looked at as simply a modification of the expected form. Similarly, lettuce is mentioned, and while one can order a sub or hoagie without lettuce, it's a modification. Tomato and onions are also a default part of such a sandwich, and so something that one should expect to be there unless requested otherwise.

However, I've had some truly crappy hoagies in my life.

Generally speaking, the biggest disappointments come when the tag is "American hoagie", generally because the cheese becomes that generic, processed "american" cheese, which works best in grilled cheese sandwiches, and they have license to use bologna. The combination is a sort of filler that's not much of a step above well-ground wood shavings and flavored oil. Someone obviously likes it, but by and large I tend to think it's people who don't know any better and the people who are on the production side of things and watching the bottom line.

I mainly associate the above with school cafeterias, which is likely where my sense of who likes it comes from. I've occasionally wondered for how many people this was their sole contact with this sandwich form, leaving them with the impression that it's nothing special and nothing they'd bother seeking out. I've met some people who feel that way about salads because of home experiences where mom would drop a quarter of a head of iceburg lettuce on a plate, maybe a slice of tomato if it was in season, and the approach was to try to coat the thing in a thick dressing so it would have some flavor. Not the sort of thing to cause them to seek it out later in life.

So... what's going to be for lunch today?