Welcome to Puppet Hell!
The souls of the damned, trapped in puppet form! If they threatened us with things like this while we were in grade school, rather than scarred, superstitious agnostics we might all still be good, scarred, superstitious Catholics.
Listen close to the wind, and you can almost hear the ghastly, wheezing screams of Andy Devine! Worse than the screams themselves are the reedy, harmonica-like sounds as he fills up his lungs for a good bellow.
Death by murder or the official verdict of suicide, only George Reeves (and his killer, I'd suppose) would know for sure. There don't seem to be any clues forthcoming from this puppet, though, unless... his "Ayyyyy!" pose is meant to finger the Fonz. Hey, come to think of it, it all did happen back in the fifties. Exactly when did Fonzie roll into town?
Here's an odd time-twist. Here we have what's supposed to be a puppet of 1960's -era Morticia Adams as played by Caroline Jones, but doesn't this really look like a young Sigourney Weaver? Wouldn't the Adamses have loved to have an Alien all their own? They could send it over to the Munsters. That pussy Spot better hide under those stairs.
Speaking of Munsters...
Can't you almost hear Fred Gwynn's voice, from much later in his acting career, his tag line from the movie Pet Sematary? Yes, Fred, sometimes dead is bettah! What's that? You want me to tell Al Lewis you have a spot ready for him? Consider it done, officer Muldoon!
No doubt as punishment for all of the police brutality so often directed against the most deformed, socially outcast people he could find, 1940's era Dick Tracy has apparently been damned to spend eternity as an Asian! What's the matter, Tracy? Ya yella?! No one on the force will talk to him anymore, and the train for the internment camp's leaving any moment. Chop-chop, Dick! It's a shame they confiscated that 2-way wrist tv (or was it still just a radio back then?) before you could sell it for bribe money. Couldn't have ya passing any secrets to Tojo!
Poor Wilma Flintstone appears to have bloated in the afterlife. She also seems to have soiled herself with something really nasty. What color is puppet blood anyway? No, no... it's probably best we not know. No, really, forget I asked.
It almost seems unfair to see Dishonest John down there. He always got such a raw deal every time he tried to get the best of Beany and Cecil. Did he ever get to enjoy anything for more than five minutes while he was alive? One would think that a wasted life would be punishment enough. See, this is one of the reasons this whole eternal damnation thing doesn't work for me. God's such a malevolent thug...
See the bizarre rest here. (Thanks to I'm a Crypt Leak for the nostalgic gateway to hand-up-the-wazoo hell.)
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